Happy 1st Birthday, Hayden! (UPDATE @ bottom)

I'm writing this post the day before Hayden's actual 1st birthday because I won't get a chance tomorrow. We're busy with 12 month checkups and baking birthday cake. I cannot believe we are here. 1 year. One year ago I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. Little did I know that his birth day was going to be a long one. I went into labor around 5 am and Hayden wasn't born until 10:30 pm. Yep. I thought they said that your second one wasn't suppose to take as long as your first. Wrong. Let's take a look. Ella was induced at 10:30pm, 3 cm dialated and was born at 7:30am (9 hours), Hayden I went into labor on my own, starting out at 5.5cm dialated and he wasn't born for another 17.5 hours!!! Yep. All because I wanted MY doctor to deliever the baby. I should have just had any doctor deliever because they would have atleast checked on me or have been at the hospital. My doctor was sick at home and thought that I would progress fine on my own. UGH. All I needed was for him to break my water and Hayden was born less than 2 minutes later. Now, had we of just broken my water at 10 am when I got to the hospital we would have had a pretty quick day. Hindsight is 20/20. The other hindsight is that we should have transferred Hayden over to the NICU immediately. As I approach this one year mark, emotions flood over me. Ones that I really don't understand. Hayden is healthy, happy and growing just perfect, but for a moment in time there was that chance they he may have not made it. For any new readers, Hayden had difficulty breathing at birth, but we thought with a little oxygen he would be fine. It ended up that he had Hyaline Membrane Disease and Persistent Pulmonary Hypertension, both of which meant that Hayden needed alot of help in the beginning. He was on a High frequency oscillating ventilator for the first 3 days in the NICU. It would cause him to take 720 breaths a minute. His little chest looked like a hummingbirds. He also received several rounds of surfactant to loosen up his lungs and a blood transfusion. Now you're caught up and you don't have to go back and read older posts.

When I think back, my heart skips a beat and my body begins to go numb. We were so close to so many unimaginable outcomes. God could have chosen for us to walk down a different path. We could be struggling with breathing treatments, developmental delays, grief over the loss of a child, but God spared us. I don't know why. In the midst of the moment my mind never went to what could be. I felt numb and protected all at the same time. When I think back it seems like a dream. I kept thinking, this is not happening to us. Our little boy is not sick. This is not what we are suppose to be doing right now. I was suppose to be tired from the sleepless nights from a crying baby, but instead I was tired from the quietness in my home. His little body was poked and prodded on so much in those 13 days, but so was my heart. The outpouring love we felt from so many people reminded us of what a church familiy is all about. Friends stayed at the hospital with us, they prayed over us and showered us with love. I don't look at Hayden's birth as a terrible time for us or as some valley we walked through, but as an awakening. God opened my eyes. "He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, blessed be Your name." We are all only a breath away from Heaven's gate. God could call any one of us at any moment. I am thankful for the moments He has given me in this life and I look forward to the ones to have in the future. Thank you to all of you who prayed for our family. God definitely granted the desires of our hearts.

This year has been marked with many milestones. After Hayden's birth and final arrival at home, Mark had double knee surgery. Mark then took a job change that moved us and we've been in the process of building a new home. Had you of asked me on this day last year what I would be doing today, I would have never guessed. I am sad that we're not getting to spend Hayden's birthday with all of the friends that were his prayer warriors. You better believe that we have all of your names written, those that we know of, and we will tell Hayden of the many people that prayed for him. I will remind him every year of the many people that love him and how God surrounded him with angels of protection. Just know that you are all in our prayers and we thank God for you each time we think of you. We love you all!

I had to show the thumb sucker. He's so sweet!!!

Update!!! Hayden decided to start walking the night before he turned one!!!! We are at a friends house and he just took off, so we quickly pulled out their camera and I posted it! Enjoy!!! He's even better than when we videoed!!